The Quality of My Cooking Is Alarming!

It's almost summer, right? Summer means grilling, and being from the midwest, it particularly means (to me) BRATWURST! And being daughter of a Wisconsin woman, it means BEER!

So, as per usual, I was getting our brats ready by melting some margarine in beer until it came to a simmer, then I threw in the brats and some sliced onion. Usually I have great success with this, although it's not the fastest way to cook brats.

The funny thing is the smell of simmering beer absolutely FILLED the house today, sorta like a tavern on St. Patrick's weekend. I didn't think too much about it until...

THE CARBON MONOXIDE & EXPLOSIVE GAS DETECTOR BEGAN TO SCREAM AT 200 decibels! The display was flashing 'GAS - 215'. I yanked the unit from the wall outlet and smothering it against my side, ran for the back door. I leaped outside and began waving the bastard unit in the air, trying to get the sensor to clear. I finally got it to shut off. I stared at it a moment, wondering what it meant.

Our appliances are electric, except for the water heater and the furnace. It was a nice day, so the furnace hadn't fired up at all. I hadn't washed any dishes for a while so the water heater hadn't run.

Could beer and onion be considered noxious fumes?

I stepped back into the kitchen and stared at the CO detector. At first nothing, but 30 seconds later 200 dBs and a flashing display again "GAS!!! 215!!!" Once again I dashed out of the house, intermittently pressing the reset button while waving the unit in the air again! It finally went silent and I set it on the patio table.

That's where it remained until dinner was done and we'd finished eating.

I must say, those were the best tasting brats I've ever made. I think I'll send Kidde the Smoke Alarm people my special recipe!